Graffiti

Journey of life - part 4 - Awaken to the journey

2010-12-14T15:08:00.004-05:00

Dear Friends,

Recap of Majlis 3: Acquiring the neutral perspective and stepping back a little

It seems that Sheikh Arif has had a little slap on his wrist. In good humour S. Arif says he has become frightened of his audience. This makes me laugh. It was to happen at some time in these 10 days. I really like fearless style of S. Arif. He states what he believes to be the truth. We are all blessed with intellect. It is up to us to embrace his ideas, reject them or modify them to fit our ideals. Talking about intellect and ignorance, the discussion begins with a look at definitions.

Growing seems to be a cycle to constant reflection, breaking away and building new parameters based on new learning and just when you think you have got it - reflect again.

What is ignorance?
Ignorance is not lack of knowledge.

Intellect and ignorance are two poles of human existence.

A hadith says, Allah made intellect. He asked him to move back, it did. He asked it to move forward, it did. Allah made ignorance. It asked it to move back, it did. He asked it to move forward - it did not.

Based on the understanding of the above hadith, Allah has created intellect and ignorance.

Ignorance is an attitude towards knowledge. It is non compliance with Allah. It is arrogance. It is restrictive.

Intellect is submission to Allah. It is compliance. It brings growth. It bring liberation and allows for people to live life in the most unlimited way.

Conceit and arrogance brings stagnation. If you praise people, it brings about stagnation as people get pleased with themselves.

When people are born, they are limited but their struggled is to get to the unlimited.

When we are immersed on our own ideas, it is hard to grow. To be able to grow, it is important to step back and look at things for what they are worth.

Step back - Acknowledge - Gain a new perspective - Move Forward

Alcohol is haraam. We focus on that. How much focus do we give to other issues of immorality?

What of cheating? What of lying? What of inhumanity? What of ungodliness? How much importance is given to these issues? Are we pained by the plight of the people?

We need to remove the idol we have created in our minds. This idol is not God. Once we have removed the idol, we are breaking the inner cage.

Once we do this, new perspectives open in our minds.

What was the intent of God - bring Adam to earth.
What did Shaitan do? He helped the purpose of Allah to bring Adam to the earth.
What did Adam do? He challenged what Shaitain said to him about the fruit.
What do we do? We challenge ideas.

Thanks to the Shaitan, we are now enjoying the earth and going on the our beautiful journey.

When the Prophet Mohammed came, he showed people the truth. Once people awakened to the truth, they changed. The once ignorant people became the most important sahaba of the prophet. What did they do? They awoke, stepped back and saw the truth and changed their perspective.

The prophet came as an outer prophet to bring out the inner prophet in us.

We have become reactionist today. Rather than bashing ideas that come from non Muslims, they embraced it. Knowledge is the lost property of a believer. Once we find it, we pick it up and learn from it.

We need to learn from those that know - believers or non believers. It is not us against them. It is just us!

Until manana, with love...

Journey of life -Part 3 - Break Away

2010-12-14T14:18:00.004-05:00

Dear Friends,

Now into the third and fourth majlis of Sheikh Arif, I have found many similarities between his thouht processes and the NLP training we have undergone. I have to say again that Sheikh Arif is perhaps a born life coach. He asks some powerful questions but never really answers them. Until now I was always confused as to why he does not give us the answers but the real answer only comes from us as this is our journey.

He starts his majlis with a story of three people who all tell their perception of a little place. All three had a different view -first bein wonderful, second being good with some areas of improvement and third being awful. He then explains why their perceptions are different.

Three perceptions:

1st person - good from the inside and only saw good
2nd person - had preferences
3rd person - regressed soul

Powerful Question 1:
If I had a moment remaining to live, what should I to do?
Imam responded - acquire knowldege

If you change, the terms of your reality and hereafter will change

We are in a life of great opportunity - if you dont take it - it is a wasted opportunity.

Powerful question 2:
How do I take the journey?

When we come into this world, we awaken. When we awake, the journey begins. The journey is about makin sense of the world without a roadmap.

There is no one path - there are as many paths as the breaths that we take.

How to journey
No two things in the world are the same. All blades of grass are different etc. Everyone has their beautiful path to take. We need to look at nature to learn how to journey.

1. Everything is growing through removal of restriction. This brings liberation.
Humans cant help being restricted and conditioned.

2. Liberation needs zero presumptions.
We need to acquire a state of unbiasedness / neutral perspective

We lead our lives based on a presumptions and we view that as truth. We need to step back and reflect

Before we belive in a presumption, we first need to think and see if it makes sense to us and then commit to that message.

Reject the messages that do not make sense to you. Do not lead a life in biases.

More to come...

With Love...

The journey continues - part 2

2010-12-14T14:03:00.005-05:00

Dear friends,
Today's discussion was a little confusing for me. There was some talk of Qiyamah and the differing view points of Qiyamah. The discussion then comes to our journey. From my understanding, the journey we take in this life will be a reflection of our Qiyamah.

But in my head I think the further I go in my journey, the more chances of me being wrong and more opportunities for me to be corrected. Sheikh Arif continues his discussion on why to expand and grow.

Here are some of my understandings of the majlis 2.

HUMANITY: We have misunderstood it. We judge and condemn people but really if we look at the prophet, he is praying for the kafirs and changes their perspective through kindness.

1 principle of life

1. I am the prime subject in life.
I am the author of my life.

When a person is created as an authour but lives as a slave, how strange is his life?
When a person is created to be a creator but lives in a cage, what a confined life that is?
We are the creators of the cage and we can change the cage.

I am the author of hell. There is no fire without the fuel that I bring.

S. Arif then discusses the many times Qiyamat has been discussed in the Quran. If is a rough guide book and giver of hope, why is there so much discussion on the consequences of our actions?

Quran is there to give hope and life. It is there to give freedom but we use it is a restrictive force. The quran which was a giver of heaven is now used to be a giver to hell.

Why is there so much obsession with the hereafter in the Quran?

In the journey of life, the hereafter, heaven and hell a part of this journey.

Differing points of Views
Surah Maadia - conversation with Allah and Isa. When Allah asks Isa if he did something wrong,
Isa says, "If I have done something you know what I have done better than me"

Surah Yaasin states that parts of the body will bear witness of the deeds.
People will say "I did not do this" and that is why other parts will bear witness.

Qiyamah is going to be a mighty thing. The descriptions of Qiyamah are very frightening.
On that day, when people are so scared, who will be able to lie to Allah?

But there will be people who will do so and that is what Surah Yasin is referring to. According to Arif, the image we have constructed of Allah in this world will be the image of Allah that will question us in the hearafter.

If we fail to grow in this journey of life, we will fail to grow in th hereafter.

We need to explore the journey of life now!

Here is what we do:
We are given a path and we just walk a few steps and are happy with the destination. However the path is full and expanding. We need to go on this full and expanding journey and go further than the few steps we are comfortable with.

The world never really changes but we can change. If we change, the reality of our world can change in our eyes.

Look at Hur - when he changes, the whole world changes for him. The circumsance is exactly the same, but the reality has changed for Hur.

We as human being have two challenges
1. Break away from our thought process
2. Be aware of our emotions

These are the things that are barring us to expand. A free man will not fear Allah.

The truth is mine. It is mine to find. My truth is my truth.

There is no truth that is true for two people

We need to be bold, courageous and free to be able to journey freely.

We are confined in our thoughts or our outlooks of life.

An individual should not underestimate/undermine themselves.

The discussion continues but my wondering mind refuses to focus. I wonder what the next lecture will bring...

With love...

The Journey of Life

2010-12-14T13:52:00.005-05:00

Dear Friends,

I was inspired by my sister Shehnaaz to listen to majlis online.

After searching for my beloved Sheikh Arif, I finally found the majlises he is reciting. This year his topic is the "Journey of Life"

Here are some of the points he made. As always he has made me think and confused me. I would love to continue this discussion with you. Please feel free to leave a comment.

S.Arif begins by discussing how worthless we are in the grand scheme of life.

"There is no handbook to the journey of life. In the cosmos, we are so worthless but we gain worth through each other.

Like the lives of a particular "rain fly" who exist for but a few hours, we too only have a moment to live. We need to fulfill our purpose then die.

Allah is the architect in this life and we are the voyagers.

Should we waste our lives only worrying about halaal and haram? Can we combine this with a higher purpose?

S.Arif then begins to discuss the image of Allah. Who is Allah?

"Allah is a construct of our own minds. While we all follow Allah, we do not worship the same God as we have constructed the idea of God on our own minds through our limited experiences.

The more we explore, journey and extend, our understanding of Allah changes.

It is your journey - your journey has to make sense to you!

Why are we afraid to question? Will Allah be offended if we question? If Allah has given us the ability to question, then why would it be wrong to question?

What sort of God have you created in your mind?

Imam Hussein stated, "The only thing I have is myself and Yazid I will not give it to you." He refused to give his freedom to falsehood. Who do we give our freedom to?

The God we worship is not the same God that the prophets and Imams worshiped as we (through our limited experiences) have constructed in our minds a very mundane God.

Inshalla, if inspired tomorrow, I hope to send you a recap of what I learn tomorrow.

With love...

Muharram - gaining new perspectives

2010-12-14T13:25:00.003-05:00

So it has been a while since I blogged. I make no excuses. Life happens.

It is now the end of 2010. I find myself trying to learn and gain nearness to Allah. What better time to do this then in the month of Muharram?

Let me set the scene:

My husband and I continue to dialogue about my lack of interest in going to mosque.

I make a choice - I sit at home, too tired to make it to mosque (which is only a 10 minutes journey away) and listen to my beloved Sheikh Arif and am filled with new perspectives. However all the while, I feel guilty for not going to mosque and neglecting my Muslim duty in this holy month.

So the next day I make another choice - I push myself out the house and make my 10 minute trek to the mosque, sit through a 35 minute lecture and all the while I am wondering, "Should I stay for urdu majlis?" "Should I stay to eat as I am hungry?" "How long will the mataam be?" 35 minutes later, I get into my car feeling guilty that I didn't stay at mosque long enough, that I didn't pay my dues, that my mind wondered through the majlis and have gained only a little knowledge from the lecture.

I am here - stuck between what I think is right and what I have been taught is right. Tomorrow is Ashura night. As my husband left for the mosque, I said to him, "I will definately come tomorrow" to which he responded, "Well you have to come. It is Ashura night."

These words echoed in my head. Do I have to go? I am learning so much at home. Will I be any lesser of a Muslim if I make the choice to not go?

I am not sure what my decision will be...

Anyway, back to the reason I am blogging today.

On the days I made the choice to stay in, I also made the choice to listen to lectures online. For some reason, I thought it to be a good idea to make some notes and send them to my loved ones (you see they were at mosque and learning something different than me).

After I sent my notes for the third lecture, my brother in law suggests, "Post these on your blog". What a splendid idea, me thinks to me-self.

The next few blogs are some of my notes and thoughts from the lecture series of Sheikh Arif.

For all the auditory learners out there, here is a link of his lectures.

http://www.islamicentre.org/viewByType.asp?type=44

I hope you find them as useful as I have.

With Love....

Almost a year and what a year!

2008-12-12T03:51:00.006-05:00

So, it has been almost a year since my last blog. I am so shocked with how quickly time has flown and my nonchalant attitude towards my blog. I remember when I first began this blog, I was a vision of obsession - everything was a story, everything was "blogworthy".

Like my previous blogs, I am tempted to make excuses for not blogging but this time, I can't think of a single good excuse. This last year has been inspiring, eventful, and full of unexpected beautiful surprises that I wish I penned.

My experience of living Dubai has been incredible - a journey of new learning and opportunities for continued growth. One of the things I have dabbled in this year has been life coaching. One of my motivations for taking this accreditation was to get over my crazy fears - like dogs. While I am still scared of dogs, (and was almost attacked by one last week - I can still hear my scream of terror echoing in the street), I am excited to announce that I am looking to the future and unexpected with hope, courage and strength. I don't know what secrets the year ahead has hidden for me to experience, what jewels of wisdom I will learn, what new friendships I will discover, but I know I am ready and I am excited!

Looking forward to 2009!
With Love....

Read the post written on October 10 - The post that went unpublished - It supplements this entry beautifully.

Searching to learn

2008-01-15T08:09:00.000-05:00

I promised to learn something new everyday in an effort to grow. Now if I am not going to mosque to get that information, I need to find something to learn on my own. And that is exactly what I did - only to find myself quite frustrated.

I sat in the kitchen at the island with a freshly made cup of Davidoff coffee sitting beside me. Equipped with my laptop, I sat and thought. I first went to Google and stared at the search bar. What key phrases was i to put "Daily inspiration", "Muharram"?? There were too many choices. I had to narrow it down. I had an idea - I needed to go back to where I learned best. My mom had told me that the lectures in Toronto were quite good so I searched the web for the Toronto website and found the lectures.

Excited, I picked the majlis that read, "How Sincere Simple Actions are Magnified". I loved how the topic sounded and couldn't wait to immerse myself int it. I pressed play and waited. I heard some Quran. Realizing it was Yaseeen, I looked for the forward button, but it did not operate. Finally it ended, followed by Dua e Kumail.

I am still listening to Dua e Kumail as i write this...what annoys me is my laptop battery will be over in 10 mins and my eyes are shutting. All I want is to listen to a lecture but I have to listen to the preamble before I can get to the core! This is not making lectures more accessible to people like me. All I want is the lecture. As listeners, we should have the ability to rewind and fast forward as we see fit.

Until I recharge my battery....

The Month Upon Us

2008-01-14T13:49:00.000-05:00

Muharram is upon us. In this month, Shiite muslims mourn the death of their third Imam, Imam Hussein and his family. Muslims reflect on the character of Imam Hussein and his companions, drawing inspiration from them in an effort to gain spirituality.

As most of you know, I am not much of a mosquer - however this does not translate in not caring. It simply means I find other ways of connecting especially in this month. After giving it much thought, I decided - if I learned something new each day and tried to change one thing in my life in this month, I would have succeeded in this month. I want to share my learing with you all.

My Learning

1. Ways to make a house a home:

FOR A WIFE
- Be a good cook
- Do not be a demanding wife
- Be cautious with money

FOR A HUSBAND
- Be generous with money
- ...

hmm.. cant understand why I only remember one thing for the husband to do. I am sure there was more

Till the morrow, reflect on these points.

Coming To Dubai

2008-01-14T13:36:00.000-05:00

Sheikh zayed road was empty. Not a car on the road, barely a soul on the streets. The usually busy city of Dubai became a "ghost town" on Monday January 14, 2008. Why I hear my non existent readers ask - b/c of U.S. President George Bush.

On Sunday, after a long weekend, I tumbled out of bed, sleep still in my eyes and faced the world. I was ready for a full week that consists of 5 days. On my calender, the next long weekend will be in March. What a long time to wait I thought to myself as I sipped the steeped tea in my "Second Cup" mug.

At the end of the day, a parent came into my class wondering if there was school on the next day.
"Why of course" I replied confidently thinking he was referring to a school closure due to the heavy downpour.
"All the roads are closed" he informed me promptly. I shrugged and shook my head. School was most definitely open the next day.

A half hour later, a text was sent to all staff and parents informing them that school would be closed as a security measure.

While I think it is quite silly for the whole economy to suffer because of one man and the whole city to find themselves under house arrest, I have to admit I LOVED it.

I am eagerly waiting for him to revisit Dubai. Thank you Bush for giving us a day off!

Ramadhan Kareem

2007-10-19T03:26:00.000-05:00

I have been meaning to write this post for ages. I cannot blame time constraints. I can only blame my laziness.

During Ramadhan, we were invited to iftar at the Ranches. The Ranches is about half an hour from where we live in Jumeirah. Since we left late from home, we would be in the car during fast breaking time. I sat in the car. I gazed out of the window. I occupied my thoughts with anything and everything - but food found its way back into my head. As I consoled my poor stomache, I was greeted with a pleasant suprise. We had stopped at a red light and I saw men running to cars and giving them packages. Turns out, The pharmacy on Al-Wasl road was running a promotion but providing care packages to people on the road at magrib time. What a kind and thoughtful thing to do. Asif described it as a "good deed" and it surely was a good deed.

I wish I had taken a picture of the little box - blue with a picture of a silver sky and mosque. The box contained 2 dates, a glass of water and a little juice packet. I savoured the contents in my box hungrily and happily.

I want to thank the pharmacy on Al-Wasl road for providing us with food to break fast on two occasions.

May Allah bring prosperity to their store - Ameen.

The Move - Questions - A post that went unpublished

2007-10-10T05:37:00.002-05:00

This post went unpublished. It was written about a year and a half ago. I remember sitting at Somji and Company writing it at the speed of light. Reading it today and rereading the post I have just written, I can truely say that I have grown. Reading through this post, I am aware of the grammatical errors and sentences that dont quite make senses. I am tempted to change it but I think to be true to how I was feeling at the time, I will not. The post has left unfinished. I dont know why - maybe it was awaiting a post that act as a balm to make it better. Whatever the reason - it was left uncomplete, my emotions and questions were raw. I hope you will enjoy it.

I have moved - where to, I hear you ask (well, most of you already know) - Dubai!

Before this experience, anytime I heard someone was moving - I asked those typical moving questions.

"How do you feel about the move?"

"What are you going to do there?"

"Are you excited?"

And if I was close to the person "Are you ok with the move?"

When you are the one doing the asking, you feel like you are the only one smart enogh to think of those questions , you are the only one who has taken the time to ask these questions. It is the quesioners way of showing support.

For the first time, I was the responder. I was overwhelmed with how many times I was asked - "How do you feel?".

I had the standard reply downpacked - "You know, taking it one day at a time" or "I am not feeling - just working". By the time it was time for me to leave, these questions were breaking me down. I heard my real thoughts and feelings being voiced.

Really, while I acknowldged the concern and support of these questions, most times I didnt really want to talk about the move. Denial was a good place for me.

Arriving into Dubai, I was scared. I know I always say this - but really, I was scared. I honestlty think the reason I was so frightened was because I had talked about my feelings so much. These questions make you realize all your fears and multiplies them.

Dubai brought fresh faces, but the questions were stale. I got the revamped moving questions.

"How are you settling in?"

"How do you feel about the move?"

"What are you going to do?"

Really, I dont know what I am going to do! I am scared and the more you ask me - the more frightened I get! I see my skillset I developed so eagerly over that last few years fleeting right before my eyes. I cannot remember how to drive, how to cook, and most importantly - how to teach!

How to say all this to a person whose name I can barely recall?

I dont have any solutions however. I know what made me the move easier though.

PRE-MOVE
The overwhelming amounts of "I will miss you" I heard. Even if it was fake, it was nice to feel irreplacable for a few days.

The well wishes. These came in form of words voiced, cards, facebook messages and hugs. It sounded something like - "Good luck", "I will pray for you", "Take care of yourself" and "Thank You". I loved the occasional hugs I recieved - tight but gentle - telling you everything you needed to hear without having to say a word.

The food - I loved the hanging out with people you had been meaning to hang out with for all your life, but never really got chance. I loved the hanging out with my friends and my family.

POST MOVE
The smiles :) :) :)

The words of encouragement - "You can do it"

Text messages, emails and facebook messages from friends and family from Toronto home(I have to figure out what is home - Mombasa, Toronto or Dubai - can all three be home?)

The Long Awaited Return - Yea RIGHT!!!

2007-10-10T04:58:00.000-05:00

The last few months have been a flurry of passing moments. I cannot believe how quickly they have passed. Amongst the commotion we like to call life, I ignored things important to me such as my blog. I distinctly remember the day my blog came to a stop.

The week had been busy - dates with friends had been planned all week long. I had barely a momemt to myself. Being the loner that I am, I was suprised to find that I was actually enjoying the large amounts of socializing that I had been upto. Anyway, walking along the Main Streets, admiring the old streets and taking in the european charm, I realized that I hadnt blogged all week long! Random thoughts then came to mind - and lingered a little too long unfortunately.

Could it be that until now I watched life from the sidelines and simply wrote about it in attempt to forge a more exciting life for myself?

Could this new exciting life, full of friends, coffees and laughter take over my need to write?

Was I busy living the life I wrote about that I now had no time for recounts?

Was my blog not important to me anymore?

I could go on but I will spare you. In the last five months, I often logged on determined to write something, anything .... but nothing came to mind. Nothing motivated me!

Now sitting at Lolly's desk at Somji and Company, I have this need to write. To retell all the adventures I have had, all the dreams I have realized, all the random thoughts that pop into my head.

For those who have been asking why I havent blogged in a while, I hope I have answered your questions - well, facebook has to take some blame. For those that have asked when I would blog again - OFTEN is my reply.

With Love......

Rainboots!!

2007-04-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

Excited does not begin to explain how I feel today. I woke up this morning to the lovely sound of pitter-patter. Usually, this sound would explicit a groan from me - rain...urg!! But today, my thoughts went to my shiny new rubber rain boots waiting in the closet. YES!!! I could wear my boots and with good reason too.

I put on my jeans, rolled up the pant legs enough to let a peak of rain boot delight flash through and smiled. I loved my new boots.

I felt like a stylish farmer girl.... How could the swirls of brown and blue flowers painted on my boots make me so happy??

Driving to work, each raindrop that fell on my windshield made me happier. I couldn't wait for my outdoor yard duty at school. As luck would have it, it was an indoor recess :(

Maybe not today but watch rain puddles - here I come!!

A long short kinda week

2007-04-13T11:25:00.000-05:00

Have you noticed that short weeks always seem to drag on longer than a regular week?

First of all, I think Muslims should have Friday off - afterall it is Juma' .. shouldnt that count as a continuous religious holiday in addition to the weekend? Muslims are law abiding citizens and we follow the law of the land so we have to follow the Saturday and Sunday weekend rule. I mean, is it too much to ask to be able to attend Friday prayers? This will also help to eliviate the long short week stress I have been dealing with! I guess I may be fighting a losing battle there!

I am trying to figure out what helps to make the week go faster - keeping busy or doing nothing. This week had been a busy busy week, but that didnt help... and usually, I am glued to the tv doing nothing - that doesnt help.

Why is this soo complicated???

Well, Friday is here! Enjoy the weekend!!

The Vegetable Trick

2007-04-09T21:44:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to watch what I eat. Someone told me to try not to mix protein and starch - so meat and veges or potatoes and veges. Not meat and potatoes with veges rotting in the fridge.

Now this makes it really hard to make Sheppard's Pie b/c the two main ingredients are potatoes and meat. Anyway, I was determined to try this new meal plan. So I made Sheppard's Pie today substituting the mashed potatoes with mashed cauliflower. When I served the food, Asif noticed a difference in the texture. I told him not to think too much about it - I tried a different recipe using a different kind of potato. I watched Abbas and Asif play with the food out of the corner of my eye. Abbas tried a little forkful.

"How is it Abbas?" I asked bright eyed.
"Its.... interesting" Abbas replied. He is too polite. He continued to eat.

I told Asif what it was and he pushed the plate aside and made himself some eggs. I was insistent that it was good and healthy! I had two helpings just to make a point. It was awful!

I have tons of this Sheppard's Pie left. Feel free to come over and try it before it goes into the compost!

Oh yea - the compost! I LOVE the compost!

The Lost Wallet

2007-04-09T21:18:00.000-05:00

I resort back to retelling uninteresting blurbs about my life. At this point of my life, I have no insights, political/religious views I care enough about to share.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand - A lost wallet. On my way home on Wednesday after an exhilarating cycle class, I tried to fish for my wallet. My hook came up with NOTHING. I couldnt find my wallet! I was frantic and spent the first few minutes taking deep breaths in my car to calm myself.

I am thinking a few things -

1st thought - I lost my wallet at the mall I work out at. A few months ago, I lost my hijab at the gym... someone thought a two piece scarf held together with a safety pin was a good steal. Now, I lost my wallet! Are these signs? How am I to read these signs? What will be the next thing to get lost there - I sure aint losing any pounds!

2nd thought - When I lost my scarf, I thought it to be the funniest thing. I ran out the mall sheltered my by winter hood. However, when I lost my wallet, I was so upset. Shouldn't it be the opposite? Shouldn't I have been more stressed to have lost a symbol of my religion over a wallet of only materialistic importance (pointed out many times to me by Asif and my mom).

3rd thought - Having no one to listen to me complain at home, I shared my wallet story with my students at school. These 6 year olds impressed me to bits. After I shared, one of the kids put his hand up. "Ms. Fazal, I am going to look for your wallet everywhere", he said sincerely. Another kid said, "Ms. Fazal, I have a dollar to buy a snack, do you want it?". At the time, I started to laugh explaining to them that I had some money and thanked them for their kindness. As the day wore on, my thoughts went back to those kids. What a lesson in generosity and kindness I learned from that day - the day I lost my wallet!

Anis, if you are reading, I need a new wallet. Any samples??

Never ending Writer's Block

2007-04-03T12:48:00.000-05:00

I have a problem. I dont know what to write about. Its weird! I think I have a bad case of writer's block. I havent updated my blog since the beginning of March, and I keep hoping something interesting will pop into my head to write about, but alas - the vacuum in my head is getting larger with every passing moment. What's going on?

I think facebook plays a role in this problem. While I worry about my writer's block, 30 grade 7 kids join me in the library...

The hijab debate continues....

2007-03-11T17:53:00.000-05:00

A Quebec girl was asked to remove her hijab so she may be allowed to continue to play soccer. The girl was asked to do so in accordance to FIFA rules. What upsets me is that Fifa has left the decision to enforce this rule upto to the discreation of the refree.

I am not impressed! I wish a stand had been taken!!!

Click here to read the article.

Identity Theft - Simple as 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

2007-02-27T21:52:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, when I was asked what my hijab meant to me, I replied - security. This created some discussion amongst us. Can the hijab keep you safe?

Wearing the hijab provides the hijabi with a sense of comfort in her environment but - I hate to be the one to break it to you all - it wont keep predators away! (Sabira, thanks for shattering my sense of security ;))

Click here to watch some steps you can take to keep yourself safe at all times.

Donald Trump vs. Vince McMan

2007-02-26T23:30:00.000-05:00

Its about 11:30pm. I am sitting with a cold cup of tea aimlessly watching tv. Nothing interesting to watch - Post Oscar reviews, reruns, Anna Nicole's courtcase, news....Despite the array of shows, I am watching WWE!

Asif and I are waiting to see who is going to have a shaved head. Here's hoping it is the Donald! That awful hairdo needs to go!!

More Views on Hijab

2007-02-26T08:19:00.000-05:00

On the weekend, a few of us gathered to celebrate the fabric that covers our hair - the hijab. One of the questions we addressed in our gathering was:

"What does hijab mean to me?"

Here's a clip from from CBC. Check it out.

The-the-the Stammer

2007-02-22T23:59:00.000-05:00

As I recite my few verses of Quran in the night, I am always confused about why I reread parts of an ayah, even though I know I have read it correctly the first time. It really began to annoy me, because my rereading was spoiling my flow.

I began observing my overall reading patterns. As a primary teacher, I am forced to read aloud everyday - not just read aloud, but read with theatricals.

Today, I was presented with a big book to read filled with a flurry of tiny words I did not completely understand. I began reading the book word for word - repeating parts as I read(hmmm... interesting. I do this with my Quran, I thought to myself). I did not understand what I was reading aloud. The more I read, the less I understood, the worse my reading aloud got. To save myself and my kids the grief of sitting through that awful read aloud, I stopped reading. I looked at the pictures in the book and ran my eyes quickly over the words I had just read. I got it! I picked up the book again and began reading out loud again - looking at the pictures to guide me and subsituting the words in the book for words that flowed out of my lips easily.

I began to think about my quran recitation. To describe my recitaton, it is stuttered at best - even after I practise. But then again, so is my reading in english! What gets me through in my daily english reading is my comprehension and the pictures. I cant use either crutch when reciting Quran. I dont get arabic and I cant use visual cues to guide me.

AHA!!!

I am wondering why we cant have picture Qurans? So take a story from the Quran like the story of Prophet Yunus. Write a few ayats on a page and illustrate those ayats on the next. I think it would greatly assist stammering reciters like myself and would help Muslims comprehend Quran!!

The Trouble With Islam - according to some!

2007-02-16T23:25:00.000-05:00

I am getting really tired of the images of muslim women shown on media - images of women fully clothed in dark colours, walking along dark, unhappy streets accompanied by - can you guess - dark, unhappy, scary music!

I am a muslim woman, who has visited various Muslim counties along my little travels, and have yet to see the the kind of women portrayed on TV. From my observations, there are women who wear the scarf (headpiece), others who wear an abba (robe-like dress) or a variation of it, and some prefer to wear the niqab (cover of their face with the exception of the eyes). But if you peer into our lives, you will see we are quite normal - and in no need for saving or freedom. My hijab liberates me in the same way that contact lenses liberates the optically challenged.

Anyway, I watched this clip on You Tube the other day. I know I wasnt an objective listener because I was angry before I even began listening to the guest speaker. So I waited a few days and listened to this clip again.

To view clip, click here

This time, more than angry, I was left confused. What is Irshad Manji's point? What does she want to reform with middle eastern women? Reform is only needed when something doesnt work - I am no expert but here are my thoughts. I am a Muslim woman, veiled "under a shroud of cloth", and I am happy! Imagine that - A content Muslim woman! A muslim woman who doesnt feel the need to be saved! What a blasphemous idea!

I did like one thing she said, "Muslims are going nowhere but forward"... I agree with her completely. I think Muslims are showing the world there is more to them to a terorist label!

Who Gets Valentine Day Royalties?

2007-02-13T23:43:00.000-05:00

Another commercial holiday on my calendar - Valentine's Day!

For all those who celebrate this day - Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

Now, I am not cynical and it is not that I am not loved - at least I think I am - but really, to have a day specially designed to celebrate your love? C'mon!! My problem with V. day is how commercial it has become and how it makes those who are not in relationships feel.

Until I got married, I was one of those people. I remember being really sad on one V. day and my mom (in typical Anis Fazal fashion) gave me a Quran to cheer me up... hehe.

Anyway, I was thinking about it. Did St. Valentine die for love? Well, sort of I guess. He died for the love of his religion - Christianity. He was then jailed and beheaded as as result of not converting to paganism. In his final farewell letter to the jailer's daughter, he wrote "From Your Valentine". Interesting isnt it? How many times have you seen that in a card or have signed off your card with that phrase?

So who gets royalities for this phrase - Hallmark or St. Valentine?

St. Valentine did not die for the love of cards and chocolates! Nonetheless, February 14th is the national day of LOVE. If Valentines is supposed to be a day to celebrate love - then do something kind for all sorts of people.... spread love and joy through your actions.

Quran Link

2007-02-11T22:46:00.000-05:00

To help me in my journey to learn Quran ( and maybe to free him from his tutoring position), Asif sent me this link today. I have been listening to it for the last few minutes ... and it is great!!! It is Quran recitation followed by the translation. So after ayat, the translation is read. You can change it to listen to the translation in Urdu or just to hear the Quran recitation.

Great for beginners!
http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/

A Guiding Hand

2007-02-11T22:27:00.000-05:00

Allah definately works in mysterious ways.

Last weekend, I went for a retreat. My intention for going for this retreat was "I am always up for a trip". I pretended that it was to continue my haj journey into my western lifestyle, but I knew as I know Allah does - that it was just that - pretending.

Little did I know that Allah may have had other plans for me. When I left on Sunday from the retreat, tears were flowing freely from my eyes ( and you all know that I am not a cryer). I felt something within me change.

I will go into further details about my retreat in my next blog.

Anyway, I made some resolutions as I was leaving - like praying with conviction, trying to learn to recite the Quran and not listening to music. All three are my big jihads.

When I got home today, I shrugged away my thoughts of practising my Yasin. I sat down infront of the TV and turned on my laptop. Allah wasnt going to let me get away so easily. I recieved an email from one of my dear cousin who directed me to his blog.

As I read his blog, I couldnt believe I was going on a journey similar to his. I pulled some inspiation from his writings.

Check this site (if you want to begin to rejuvinate your soul). It helped me. Thank You

http://www.bettermuslim.com

What's Wrong With NOW??

2007-02-03T07:12:00.000-05:00

It is Saturday, the first official day of the Women's Spiritual uplifting camp and I found myself awake at 5:45am!!
Anyway, an hour and a little later, a prayer and a ziyaraat later, a giggle and some chatter later, I am sitting on my bed thinking on yesterday's session. We began to embark on a journey to "wake up" our souls. We discussed that the soul can be either:

dead or alive
asleep or awake
ill or healthy

To understand our souls, we first need to wake it up. Perhaps most of our souls are in deep slumber. However, I found myself thinking - I think my soul is stirring, trying to awake, but I keep hitting the snooze button - hoping if I snooze for long enough, I wont have to wake up!

I loved the question it we ended with - "What is wrong with NOW?" Good question!!!

Why not wake up now?
Why dwell on the past?
Why worry on the future - which changes at every stroke??

Now is the time to wake up and do something - for your community, for Allah, for YOUR soul!

Mission Packing -

2007-01-31T23:49:00.000-05:00

It is close to midnight and my eyes are almost closed, but so rarely do i get a blog request. So Azmina, this is for you. Ladies who are going on the retreat - have you seen the itenarary??????????? What have we gotten ourselves into??

To Pack (in order of when you will require them)
1. Bathtowel (for those who require their own! for the rest of us, it will be provided)

2. Supplies for the bath ie.. shower gel, shampoo, and deo
OPTIONAL: Face products, perfume

3. Clothing:
a. Track pants
b. Comfortable tops (I dont think there will be much emphasis on hijabi clothing as it is a women's retreat!!)
c. Abba - incase of black clothes alert!
d. Intimates -should i go into further detail??? All i have to say about this is - disposables alllllll the way!!!
e. Socks
f. Winter jacket
g. Scarf (for those that will not be wearing one on the trek to Barrie)

4. Food:
a. Chocolate
b. Candy
c. Any junk food!!!!!

5. Islamic gear:
a. Quran with translation
b. musalo with muhr (bring the one we got at haj)
c. Dua book for after namaaz
OPTIONAL: paper and pen - incase of sudden interest!

6. Meds:
a. Immodium (important!)
b. Tylenol
c. Cough syrup/tablets
OPTIONAL: Cyprol :)
Ladies, pls refrain from taking any vaccinations for the purpose of this trip. The organizers are preparing a special retreat vaccine - to boost our spiritual immune systems. Results may vary!Pls note: This vaccine has never been administered before! Pls excerise caution.

7. Tons of personality

Am I missing anything???

Where's Waldo?

2007-01-28T02:52:00.000-05:00

Try and follow the tune:

Dear Allah has a home - E I E I O

And in his home, He had some pilgrims -E I E I O

With people here and people there,

Here people, there people,

Everywhere people, people!

Dear Allah has a home - E I E I O

The Criterion by men

2007-01-28T01:19:00.000-05:00

I am going to take a detour from my haj trip.

Last Saturday marked the first day of the Islamic calendar - Muharram. Shiites mourn the massacre of the grandson of the Muhammed (PBUH) and his family. One of great traditions of this month is the daily majlises.

Today's majlis made me go hmmmmmmmm. The maulana talked about marriage and its benefits (which I completely agree with). What bothered me was his stereotypical potrayal of women.

Women shouldnt choose a partner based on the car a man drives or on his wealth was his message. I waited for him to continue, but he didnt.

First of all, few women still enter into a marriage for financial gain. I think as a result of our education, women make marriage decisions after considering akhlaq, chemistry and education.

More importantly, what of the criterion the men have set? Sounds a little like this:

The woman I will marry
- will not wear hijab
- must cook and clean
- will contribute to the running of the household

And so on ..... I can deal with the 2nd and 3rd point, but the first is a huge problem. This problem needs to be addressed especially from the mimbar. This new criterion some men have set have put women who observe hijab in a difficult spot.

I wish, rather than furthering wife and mother in law stereotypes, issues such as the above would be addressed from the pulpit!

Most Compehensive Pictures To Date

2007-01-28T01:00:00.000-05:00

I want to say a special thanks to Nishat and Ali Jessa for taking some great haj pictures. I love the candid shots, and how the pictures reflect the diversity around us. Love them!!

Thinking About Blogging

2007-01-21T01:48:00.000-05:00

Today I realized time is slipping away. When I was in haj, I made mental notes about interesting things I would love to blog about, but when I think about it, I am overwhelmed. I cannot figure out whether I should write chronologically, or to write based on significance. The problem is time. It is not the lack of it, but with every event comes a "write" time frame. I feel like my "write" time about haj is quickly coming to an end and I haven't even started writing. I am feeling pressed for time!!!

I will soon begin documenting my trip - according to importance to me. Should I run out of time, here are some things I would have loved to talk about.

1. The "khhhh" phenomenon (you know - the sound that accompanies the dispelling of phlegm - urg)
2. The paradox of value - our reverence of Janaat -ul - Baqi and little attention paid to Janaat -ul- Maula
3. The Exodus - connections I made to the India/Pakistan separation during our journey out of Mina
4. Squatting in style - my expert advise for the wanabe Hajis
5. Beyond the books - looking beyond dua and quran for spirituality - looking at my surroundings and reflecting on my journey was the best part of my trip
6. Vertical and Horizontal relationships. Bonds are created - between you and Allah (vertical relationship) and between you and your community (horizontal relationships). For me haj was all about the horizontal - creating new bonds and re-establishing and mending old friendships.
7. Rooftop spirituality - numb noses and toes did not stop us from attending the rooftop majlises led by Abbas Virji and Sheikh Amar (why isn't Abbas referred to as Sheikh)
8. Appreciations - Where should I begin?

Enjoying nearness to Allah on a quiet day :)

Changes

2007-01-21T01:35:00.000-05:00

Haj is all about change - well, for most. Looking around me in Mina, I realized that while we were all trying to make some changes in our lives, most of the men made a significant change in their physical appearance.

Here is Asif before Halaq:

Asif and friends after halaq

Arsenal Who?

2007-01-20T01:41:00.000-05:00

That's what people are going to be saying after their match on Sunday against Man U!!

For the past four years, Man U has gotten no respect in this house. I have had to work in an Arsenal glorifying environment. I have been tricked into not purchasing Man U memorabilia and many attempts have been to brainwash me(And I almost budged after I saw Reyes ... ohhh!!).

I have a feeling my luck is changing... Arsenal's God - Henry - has been sleeping and his goals seem more like luck than skill! On Sunday, skill will challenge luck! On Sunday, Man U will find glory in this house!!

Ole!!

Anis - I am rooting for Chelsea as well. There is no place for Liverpool in the English Premire League - its a league for champions.

Materialistic joy!!

2007-01-17T22:15:00.000-05:00

Introducing my new love - my new laptop! So excited to be blogging infront of my tv!!

BIG KISS...

Celebrating History

2007-01-17T08:23:00.000-05:00

This month, let us celebrate history - it is Black History Month.

Monday, January 15th marked Martin Luther King Day. Martin Luther King, along with individuals like Rosa Parks and Ruby Bridges helped to change the face of racism.

One of the special books I read on this day is "Martin's Big Words". This book really has the power to move me - almost to tears (tears are rare for me). It introduces people to words important to the revolution - words like FREEDOM, PEACE, LOVE, KINDNESS and JOY!

I would like to wish all those who have dealt with some sort of racism - joy and peace!

Who knows? Maybe one day we will have Islamic History Month and we will celebrate history through individuals like you who have taken daily strides to promote peace and joy.

Maybe one of these guys??!!

With Love...

Generations of Silenced Girls

2007-01-12T12:20:00.000-05:00

I cant get over I almost did not go for the walking ziyaraat in Mecca! To think I almost went shopping - my vanity continues to surprise me!

I stood in silence for several minutes at this spot.

During the time of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), women were not held in high regard (somethings never really change). One of the cruelest practices of this time was to bury new born baby girls alive. Why? Girls were regarded as "shameful" and girls cannot carry their father name through history. I don't know... call me crazy, but if I had a father who wanted me dead, I wouldn't want to carry his name either!

Here is the graveyard where the newborn baby girls were buried alive. Let their death not go in vain. Their silence says more than my words can -

"I wasn't free", I hear them whispering in my ears. "You are, you are, you are...."

Little Mosque On The Prairie

2007-01-09T21:40:00.000-05:00

Love it! This new sitcom aired today - Tuesday on channel 6 at about 8:30pm

Basically it is about a little Muslim community trying to purchase a mosque and build a community.

CHECK OUT THIS LINK:
http://insidethecbc.com/category/shows/littlemosque/

I loved the character of the typical maulana (the kind that takes his pagri off and cries into a huge rumal). Shortly after being introduced to typical maulana sahib enters the "Abbas Virji/Sheikh Amar" type maulana! I need to say it again - LOVE IT!

For anyone who thought of the hijab as unattractive, this show will make you think again. The female lead - fully covered - was absolutely gorgeous.

And what Muslim community would be complete without Mama Fatema - a proud Muslim woman tightly holding on to traditions and lamb curry!

While I think this show is the best thing to air on national television since Dancing With Stars (conflict of interest here!?!), I am afraid to find out what the rest of the Muslim population thought of it... I hope it is viewed with humour and an understanding that such media attention will serve to educate people. What kind of education can people get?

1. Muslims are normal - sometimes even funny!!
2. Constantly labeling us as "terrorist" affects our daily lives
3. Like all other communities, we have insecurities
4. Hijab is beautiful

And I got all of this from watching ONE show! It is a MUST see!

Name: Little Mosque On The Prairie
Airs: Tues, Channel 6 @ 8:30pm and/or Weds - CBC @ 8:00pm
Website: http://littlemosque.ca/

Tired!

2007-01-08T13:48:00.000-05:00

Standing, well more like sleeping, on the photocopying machine during lunch, a teacher asks me,
"Fatema, how are you here after your trip?"
"With great difficultly" I responded and I meant it.

My eyes are drooping. I long for either a large Tim Horton's double-double or my bed!

Okay, so I know I resolved not to complain but I think it is okay - just this once!

I feel upset because I was unable to enjoy my morning coffee. When I walked into my class this morning, I was so unimpressed to see the state of my class .. books on the carpet, food on the floor, papers everywhere.. urg! I spent the whole morning cleaning. In all this chaos, my hot coffee quickly turned cold and stood unhappy and forgotten on my desk! All because of my inefficient MALE supply teacher!

Hajities

2007-01-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

Never has my soft mint-green comforter looked as good as it did yesterday. After wolfing down a home cooked meal (thanks mom), I jumped into my bed and embraced my comforter. Familiar scents of home greeted me. I fluffed my pillow. Hmmm..... life was good. Thoughts I had been harbouring of changing my comforter for the past few years quickly left port. I LOVE my comforter, my bed, my kitchen, my dingy, old desktop computer! I love it all. I am definitely happy to be home!

Like all the other 2006-2007 hajis, I have come down with a case of Hajities. Coined by Ruqayyah and Sidika, Hajities comes from the root word Bronchitis and it simply means having a severe cough and an uncomfortable cold. I would like to add another dimension to this term.

Hajities affects not only a haji's physical being, but his or her mental capacity as well. I awoke quite a few times last night, unaware of where I was. I guess being on the road for three weeks and staying at random "NO FRILL" hotels, overloaded tents and outdoor airport terminals would do that to you. In addition to feeling misplaced, all day long I have been expecting people to come home. I need to keep reminding myself - I no longer live with eight roommates, I can take a fifteen minute guiltless shower, zuhr and asr is 2 and 2 rakaats, I mean, 4 and 4 not 2 and 2 rakaats, and food will not be served on the mezzanine level... I have to cook again :(

Wow... getting over hajities is harder than I expected! While I am definitely glad to be home, I think I am already missing my haj family! I believe it is true what people say - "The friends you make during haj are the friends you will have for life!"

In london ...

2006-12-18T04:47:00.000-05:00

Our trip is beginning... my nerves are fine, however my nose is constantly running. I cant belive I am sick before we have even started our journey.

I am sitting at Heathrow, unimpressed with the duty free. Oh well. In London, we found out that a ton of ppl that we know will be coming to haj with us. I am starting to get excited.

With 3 mins remaining on my clock, I am going to sign off... I guess it will be me and Sheriyati for the rest of the trip.

With Love....

Walking Toward Death

2006-12-15T17:46:00.000-05:00

After a week of "Ehram" troubles, I finally brought home my white dress that I will wear during the three days of haj. While I was not completely satisfied with the quality and end product, I decided that I no longer wanted to think on the ehram subject any longer. I went downstairs, poured unscented detergent in the washer, threw my clothes in and waited for the cycle to finish.

That evening, after the clothes my washed and I showed Asif my freshly, cleaned ehram. Asif said to me - "So thats your kafan". Oh my..I thought. If only I put as much time into my life serving Allah, as i put into making my death shrouds. It is scary to come to some understanding that this might be the end.

As Asif and I approach our departure date for hajj, we would like to ask you all to forgive us if we have hurt you in any way. Please pray that our hajj is accepted and that we return home safely inshallah.

With Love....

The Count Down Is ON!

2006-11-29T21:47:00.000-05:00

With less than 3 weeks to go, more than 150 North American Muslims are sitting at home staring at an empty suitcase. To pack or not to pack - that is the question running through our minds. My calender with none but one word - haj - seems to be going through a range of emotions very time I look at it. Sometimes it looks at me pleadingly, other times it glares at me. What am I to do? I want to begin my preparations for this most spiritual journey, but with no Saudia visas in hand, preparations almost seem like a waste of time.

So here I am - physically unprepared for haj - staring at my empty Swiss Army suitcase. How am I to get mentally prepared? I want to be excited but it seems like our visa trouble is just a preview of what awaits us.

I begin to think of Mecca and the Kaaba, and for a minute, I am at peace. Then my mind wanders to my unsewn white pilgrimage garments laying lifeless on my tailor's "sancho". My heart begins to race again.

With less than three weeks to go for haj, I am finding myself nervous, a little scared, somewhat confused and totally unprepared. Beautiful! Such emotions are definately the making of a successful trip - wouldnt you agree?

Report Card Fever

2006-11-16T12:35:00.000-05:00

I got the fever - and I am burning up! Report cards got me down. For the last week, I have spent the majority of my time either marking, drafting comments or on the computer trying to input all my information!

The worst part of this is the reports are now web based! In theory, it is a good thing - but like all theories, it doesn't really follow through into real life! With the huge volume of teachers logging in to write their report cards, there are huge delays, many error messages and the worst of all - the freeze that results in a huge loss of inputted data!

What a waste of time! While it should take a few moments to write a comment, it takes hours! What a waste of time!

Since my head is throbbing and the system is down - AGAIN - I am heading out!

And for all those who think teaching is easy because of the summers - I challenge you to survive one report card season and then talk to me!

Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna

2006-11-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

This is a message for my dear friend - Minaz.

Although we stand each other up for our coffee dates, although we dont know how to play it "by ear" - whatever that means, although we dont know how to communicate effectively with each other, we DO know something very important! We know how good "fridges" is!

Fridges will not be the same without you. Hmmm....rich and warm chocolate cake, topped with delicious vanilla ice-cream and drizzled with dark chocolate sauce... hmmm. My mouth is watering already! Is yours? lol

Have a fabulous time on your travels :)

The Eid Debate

2006-10-24T10:34:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember, the night before Eid has always been the same. Everywhere you go, the conversation sounds a little like this.

"Was the moon sighted?"
"Is tommorrow Eid?"
"I can't fast another fast! I dont care if the moon isnt sighted - tommorrow is my Eid"

Well, whenever your eid was - be it Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday - I would like to wish all my readers (I guess that would be you - Minaz) a wonderful Eid. May Allah accept all your duas - Ameen.

Useless Services

2006-10-22T13:30:00.000-05:00

Asif came home yesterday quite excited about a service he had found out about - Google Text. Apparently, you can text Google a word and Google instantly texts you back with information about the chosen word. So Asif texted with word Manchester United to Google and Google texted back "They are the best" and "Beat Liverpool 2 - 0". Yes, I have to admit - I was excited about the wisdom of this device but nonetheless, what is the use of this service, which I have to add, you have to pay for? If I want to find out about the Man U game, I can just get onto the computer and find the information I need.
Asif's reaction to that was, "What if you are in the car?"
Okay, if I am in the car, I will wait till I get home and then get on the computer!"

So Asif continues to convince me.

"What if you need a number?"
"You dial 411!"
"What if you need an address?"
"I am sure Google does not provide such information" I responded. So we tried it.

We typed in the name of my school and sent it to Google and Google was unable to find the information! What a shocker!!

So seriously, apart from the instant gratification of you are receiving a text you paid for, what is the need for this service??

Should you feel the need to waste some money, the number is "46645". This new 5 digit number is changing lives, one text at a time - RIGHHHHT!

Mothers

2006-10-18T11:21:00.000-05:00

I was sitting at mosque a few days ago and something interesting caught my eye and I have been meaning share it with my non-existent readers (I am assuming their non existence as a result of a lack of comments :))

But anyway, during the amaals (prayers), it was said, "If your mothers are with you today, be good to them and take every opportunity to serve them". Well said! My thoughts wandered to my own mother. In front of me, there sat a woman and her daughter. Upon hearing these words, the mother in front of me poked her daughter, indicating to her daughter to pay close attention to the pearls of wisdom being heard over the awful sound system. The daughter looked at her mom and in jest, simply rolled her eyes! I loved it! Watching the two of them reminded me of the thousand pokes and little pinches I received as a child and the many rolling eyes I dutifully gave back to my mom. The pinches and sneers shared between mothers and daughters during adolescence is the new language of love - many fail to understand this language but it exists.

This love changes into the mushy, my mom is the best kind of love only after a separation like moving out, going away to school or marriage.

I then began thinking about the presence of my mother in my life. I realized the presence of many other wonderful women in my life who took or have taken the role of mothering me alongside my own mom. These women include my grandmother, my chachis, my mother in law, my acting mom-in-laws (in Canada), the lady who I fold chaddors with at mosque....the list continues.

I want to say a special thank you to all those absolutely amazing women - I honestly believe heaven is under the feet of these wonderful women. Thank you!

I Hate Mondays!

2006-10-16T09:56:00.000-05:00

I am wondering about this awful day called Monday. I know the people who go to school, and the people who have a job allowing for a two day break begining Friday will understand how I feel about this day - I hate Mondays! It is an awful day. For some reason, it is always gloomy on Monday mornings and people are more angry on Mondays and it is just a depressing kind of day.... I could go on

What I am wondering is, how do the people who work on Saturday or Sunday feel about Monday? **This includes the people live in Dubai**

a. like /
b. do not like/
c. do not mind

Thanks for listening to my venting via blogger!

The Word!!

2006-10-12T11:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Asif and I sat watching documentary after documentary on TV (talk about lifeless); We saw one about terrorism in Pakistan, another about the Inca Trail. (Suk, I get it. I think I want to experience this world of The Lost Gods).

I just sat on our comfortable camel coloured sofa, half-watching, sort of listening and thinking. Despite knowing my love for watching commercials, Asif began channel surfing during the breaks. We stopped for a few seconds on channel 34 -TLC and one word had me hooked. The single word "Portugal" changed everything that evening. My body language changed from kinda listening, a little disinterested and spacy to attentive, excited and happy! I never imagined watching a documentary about the pilgrims who come to Fatima would be a cause of such excitement for me. Here I was, on a Wednesday night at 11:45pm, willingly learning about Christian doctrines simply because it was set in Portugal.

Now, I need to figure out why I am so obsessed with this country that - really, is not too obsessed with me!

Read Anything Good Lately

2006-10-09T21:49:00.000-05:00

I was at a workshop this morning and I read a wonderful book called - Read Anything Good Lately. It is a simple alphabet picture book trying to express that reading is more than print in a book. Reading is everywhere - at the back of a cereal box, the sale sign in a shopping mall, listening to noises in the night etc. Reading is visual, kinesthetic, and auditory. Reading is a rich experience.

The activity that followed was we had to create our own alphabet picture books. I will begin. Turn on your creativity and help me finish the alphabet!

Have you read anything good lately? Yes, I have. I have read:

A - Amaal for A shura in Arabia
B - Bell Canada Brochures in the Bath
C - Contest information on the Cornflakes Cereal Container
D - Doctor's Diagnosis on the the Door
E -

Lets keep in going guys. Notice the letters in bold print :)

Pee on the Floor

2006-10-09T03:13:00.000-05:00

On Thursday, one of the kids in my class had an accident - whoops. She called me to her table and pointed to the floor. My eyes caught a light yellow liquid wandering on the floor - dangerously close to the carpet. ewwwww. The things we experience as teachers!

Click Here - Are you ready to travel?

2006-10-06T19:23:00.000-05:00

Check out the link by clicking on the title to test if you ready to travel the world. It is a little quiz titled, "Don't Gross Out The World".

It's quite funny. I faired as quite ungross - very exciting information to add to my schema!

Hump Day Dinner

2006-10-04T22:24:00.000-05:00

It is 6:45pm on Wednesday. A table set for 15 greets me (Yes, I know. The table reservation was a little over ambitious since we only had a party of 8! Nonetheless....). Displayed on the dark wood tables are baskets filled with bread, platefuls of dates (khajuur) and feta cheese pierced with toothpicks. Lovely! Friends arrive soon after - some come laughing, others are a little shy. The time ticks slowly - it always ticks slowly when we wait. Hungry, we pore over the menus deciding what to order. Finally the food arrives. With the food, comes our sense of humour. The more we eat, the more relaxed the atmosphere gets. The more relaxed we get, the louder our laughter. This makes me wonder - can people get intoxicated from food and friends?

Anyway, when the clock struck 8:40pm, we all parted ways. Walking to the car, we make promises to meet more often. Jumping into the car, I think, For sure, I had so much fun! I can't wait for the next dinner and really, these dinners are not all jokes, we always learn from other.

THINGS WE LEARNED ON THE WEDNESDAY NIGHT DINNER
1. Double frying fries make fries crispy - Thanks Shaista :)
2. Anyday is Shahida's birthday
3. There is someone in the mosque who looks like Arif Somji - Thanks Mehnaaz
4. Hump Day is the day of the week that is hardest to get through - Thanks Sameena and Minaz for clearing that up.
5. The best way to stay awake at 6:00am is to do dishes - Sorry Shel, you are alone on that one!
6. You can make mint tea by grinding mint leaves and adding it to tea. Make sure you strain the tea before drinking - Naila, I am coming over to yours to have this.
7. Shel makes the best chocolate chip cookies.
8. Shahida makes great dessert
9. You can always count on Sameena to pull out turkey guts for a Thanksgiving dinner

We even came up with a great business plan - Having a bake sale and tupperware party side by side!

What a bargain - laughter, friends, learning and food all for the low price of $17.50.

Thanks girls for a wonderful night.

You know what I am thinking - I will plan the next dinner on my blog. This way you all have to view my blog and comment on it - lol.

This is my home away from home

2006-10-01T15:38:00.000-05:00

The first day - The first morning message

Wonderful literature - refreshed each month

"What is the day today?" asked Ms. Fazal

Sorting my sorted books was a mission! The labels are already falling off my dollar store baskets!

The place of many wonderful creations (and many not so wonderful ones as well)

A Basket Tells A Story

2006-09-27T09:33:00.001-05:00

It is the first day of school. I come into school early. My nerves are getting the better of me. I look around the classrom I spent the last two week furnishing and I was filled with a sense of pride. I wondered if the new kids will like everything? I remind myself it was just random tables and chairs a few weeks ago; surely my efforts have helped create a better learning environment for the kids.

I just thought of something and snap my fingers in regret; I should have taken before and after pictures. Too late for that!

I survey my room again. The pencils are sharpened, the crayons (sorted by colour) all face the same direction, the tables are lined nicely. The blackboard is decorated with manipulatives for the kids. My smile turns into a frown when I realize this is the last time I will see it so clean. Aha! I can take before kids and after kids pictures.

Every basket in my class can tell a tale.

What story do you think these baskets are retelling?

BEFORE KIDS

AFTER KIDS

Blue, Green and Orange - dots for life!

2006-09-27T09:33:00.000-05:00

Having started a new job this fall, I have found my major stress aggravator has not come from dealing with a new school, a new grade or a new set of coworkers - It came from BLOGGER!!

Imagine that! All last week, I was unable to view my blog, make changes or publish anything. I didn't realize how obsessed I was with blogger until this blog-freeze!

What is most frustrating is I had just made changes to my template and added pictures to my profile. Having changed all my settings back to normal, I found I was able to view my blog again. What is that? Can I never change my blog template again? Am I stuck with blue, green and orange dots for all eternity?

Oh my - the stresses of being a blogger!

I was here!

2006-09-22T18:34:00.000-05:00

I was here in the summer!

Check out the link for a virtual tour of the Al Hambara. If possible and imaginable, it is more beautiful up close.

Sights Around London

2006-08-27T17:42:00.000-05:00

View from Asif Dahya's University - King's College

Statue of Gandhi in a beautiful park around the corner from Mehar's Uni

The River Thames

A News Agent With Style

2006-08-27T11:10:00.000-05:00

This little newsagent is located in a little alley way along Piccadilly. While I am of no relation to the FAZAL of the newsagent, I was still filled with a sense of pride.

A roommate to remember

2006-08-22T22:37:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of my roommate, Rene, and myself hanging out at the last comfort stop on our way to Madrid! Her life, strength and outlook is completely inspirational. Thank you!

Important phrases to know in Spain, Portugal and Morocco

2006-08-05T19:56:00.000-05:00

One of the elements that make any language so endearing to me is its creolization.

Here are some phrases to help you fit into the local infrastructure of Spain, Portugal and Morocco.

Hola - Hello

Comos ta - How are you?

Moi bein - I am fine

Supa! Supa! - Super! Super! (needs to be said twice for emphasis)

Bonita! - Lovely

Ay - yay - yay - Oh my!

Un tigre - A tiger(to be said to really fast bus drivers like Amilio)

Kisiara Churros Con Chocolatte Parfavour - Can I have Churros with Chocolate please?

Jugo sin alcohol - Juice without alcohol

Vamoos Rapido - Let's go quickly

Piano, Piano - Slowly, Slowly (needs to be said twice for emphasis)

Musica Parfavour - Music please

Dominos! - Let's go!

Bon Dia - Good Morning in Portuguese

Desh cupe - Sorry in Portuguese

Obrigado - Thank You in Portuguese

BALAK - Move to the side quickly. There is a donkey coming through. This is the most important word in Morocco especially in the Madina in Fez

Salaam - Hello in Arabic

Shukran - Thank You in Arabic

Cosmos Tours - Travel Tips

2006-07-31T06:14:00.000-05:00

I have just completed my first coach tour with Cosmos. Upon some reflection, these are some things I would recommend for any future travelers.

1. Take 2 cameras. You have traveled too far and too long to be disappointed by your camera.

2. Consider your style of photography before you begin clicking. In my opinion, there are two types of photographers - landscapers and sentimentalists.

If you are the first, keep your camera on and ready to click all times. As the bus is always moving, sometimes quite rapidly, reaching for your camera and aiming as you see a sight usually means a picture taken too late!!

Sentimentalists are those who enjoy looking at pictures with people in them. If you fall in this category, don't be shy to ask someone to take your picture and more importantly, pose! I am of this category and I was shy. Looking back at the pictures now, I am already in regret mode.

3. DOCUMENT! DOCUMEMT! DOCUMEMT!
As you will be seeing a lot in a day and snapping a lot of pictures, keep a journal. Write in it everyday! It is easy to miss a day and catch up is too hard! If you own a digital camera, screen your pictures each night and title them. After seeing 10 palaces, 5 madinas and several squares, they all start to look the same.

4. Take ear plugs (ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SHARING)
With wake up calls as early as 6:00am, you want to have had enough sleep. If you are sharing, it is sometimes hard to turn your roommate to the side when the snores are heightened. Also, if your tour director is annoying, ear plugs work wonders - TRUST ME!!

5. Sleep on the coach.
Traveling on a coach from city to city for 14 days can be exhausting. People put a lot of pressure on themselves to stay awake on the coach. You need to remember it is better to stay awake and active once you have stepped off the bus. There is no point in traveling for 12 hours on a bus - only to sleep in the hotel once you arrive to your destination. Really, watching acres and acres of Olive Gardens will put you to sleep!

6. Budget.
There is not shame in sneaking food from breakfast in your bag for lunch. It will save you at least 5 euros a day!

7. Travel light
Just because you are allowed to take 20 kilos with you on the plane does not mean you have to take 20 kilos! I did and I was unable to do any shopping in Spain, Portugal and Morocco because of the airplane weight restrictions!

8. Smile
Traveling with a bus full of strangers can be intimidating but a simple smile can change a lonely trip to a fun and fulfilling trip.

9. Take risks but be cautious.
If it is unsafe for you to do something in your own country, then it is unsafe to do it in a foreign country! That said, take risks to come out of your comfort zone. Take public transportation, eat squid, jump on the parallel tour bus, and go swimming at 5 in the morning! These memories will continue to bring a smile on your face for years after the trip.

10. Opt out of the day excursions and always go for the night ones.
This will give you a chance to explore the city in the day time on your own and a chance to get dressed and have a lovely dinner at night.

11. Talk to everyone - there is something to learn from everyone!

Was it a dream?

2006-07-30T15:02:00.000-05:00

Today I arrived back to London from the best experience of my life. As I said goodbye to my new found friends at the airport, my eyes welled with tears. I still cannot believe the trip I have planned all my life has come to an end. "Was it a dream?" I continue to ask myself, but I know it isn’t! I have photographs to prove it!

When booking the trip, I had decided this trip was a one shot deal - go away once on my own, learn to make friends, build some confidence and come back home - new and revived. However, upon entering Gatwick this Sunday afternoon, a new hunger has consumed me - A hunger to travel, to see everything I can see, to find new joys such as eating Churros Con Chocolata in the Plaza de Majora or singing HOLIDAY at a Karaoke place.

I have learned so much from meeting and conversing with people from different walks of life. I don't know if I would do another tour because I am afraid it will never be the same but I hope to feed this new hunger for as long as I can.

Today, I read Luis's blog (my adopted tour director) and as usual, I was inspired. He had posted verses of Shakespeare. I don't remember all the verses, but one hit home - "Time flies for those that fear". I have lived my whole life fearing. Fearing to colour my hair, fearing to make an attempt to look good, fearing to walk into Kaniz aunty's kitchen because of a damn kasuku (parrot)! I don't want to be terrorized by the kasuku anymore! I want time to be eternal and according to Luis's translation of Shakespeare, time is eternal for people that love - a fearless, passionate love for life and all it has to offer!

In Marakesh

2006-07-26T14:20:00.000-05:00

Cant connect to my email. I am going to Casablanca tomoro and I am fine. Asif, dont worry!

An experience I will treasure

2006-07-18T17:14:00.000-05:00

If for some reason, I had to fly home tomorrow, my heart would break, but in these few days I have gained so much, it would be enough to last me (for now).

So much is happening here, I don't know where to begin. We are moving from city to city, and I am overwhelmed with the information and feelings I am experiencing. To date, Madrid has captured my heart. I went to Plaza de Mayore yesterday and I walked along the narrow, beautiful streets just taking in the beautiful sights around me. The people here are so relaxed and happy - I have so much to learn from them and their lifestyle. They are so content with the little they have. After my little adventures along the streets, I sat on a sidewalk with my two new friends and listened to some Opera. While we were listening, my eyes wandered to the architecture around me. Each building was filled with detail, each beautiful, but still so different. Colours were dancing around me - vibrant reds and greens and yellows. I never

Today we went to Avila and Salamanca. Salamanca is the first University town in Europe and perhaps the most beautiful. Queen Isabella commissioned the University of Salamanca to be built and it is magnificent. The building itself looks like a cathedral. Around the university is a beautiful courtyard with sculptures accenting each corner. I sat on the grass and just looked around me, feeling so lucky to have had this opportunity to see such a wonderful place. Around the historical university, there are plenty of universities. Students were just sitting around drinking coffee and laughing. I wanted to join them. I wanted to be a part of the beautiful establishment.

Right now, I am in Coimbra, Portugal. This is another university town, but it does not have the same splendor as Spain. The people here seem to be a little more timid, and less likely to take risks. At about 10:00pm, the streets were empty, with the exception of a little bar overlooking the river.

The funniest thing happened to me today. When we stopped for a bathroom break, there was huge line up at the ladies washroom. Maggie and I decided to use the men’s washroom instead. We kept Luis in charge. Luis, being cheeky, told me that the bathrooms were empty. When I opened the door, I saw a man in the act!! I was SO embarrassed, I just ran. We came back a few minutes later to try our luck. We managed to go to the bathrooms. When Maggie came out, she calls me out. I rush out to me met with the sight of a random man at the urinal. We have decided that we are better off waiting in line

Tomorrow I will see the shrine of Fatima. I cannot wait.

Well, until maniana...

Been Around

2006-07-16T10:11:00.000-05:00

I have 7 minutes remaining on my internet account so this will be a quick blog.

MY trip, so far, has been amazing. I entered the world of the Underground in London, and I have to say that they have a much better metro system that we do in Canada. I did not get lost once because it actually makes sense. I was hopping on and off the Northern Line and Picadally line and I loved every minute of it.

I am in Madrid right now. I feel a little like the girls in the Cadbury Thins year/old Austraounded my oldies. My room mate is a 70 year old Australian woman who is attempting her last trip and I, a 26 year old Canadian, going on her first trip alone. In a way, I feel like maybe she is a mirror of what this trip could mean for me.

The airport in Madrid is breathtaking with its array of colours and contemparary look.

30 secs to go... blog later

A sad day for Portugal

2006-07-05T16:04:00.001-05:00

I want to write something intelligent and interesting, but my mind is drawing a blank. Portugal is out of the World Cup 2006! How did this happen? Why did this happen? I cannot believe it. Who is to blame?

In Portugal's defense, I have to say they played one of their best games ever. They had good possession of the ball, attempted to score at numerous times, but at the end, it did not really amount to much - after all Zinade put France in the lead early on in the game.

In hockey, when playing for the Stanley Cup, the winning team and their fans change very little in their lives to ensure the winning streak stays with them. I think there were too many changes in the Portugal fanbase thereby jinxing Portugal. I mean, what other results should I have expected when supporters of Holland and supporters of England decide to change alliances? I am talking about Asif and Minaz! I blame Asif for the loss Portugal is enduring. While wearing a PORTUGAL shirt to the match (he is in Germany right now), he secretly was praying to see a goal by Henry! That's revolting!

And what infuriates me is the booing I heard for Ronaldo. That was completely uncalled for! He played a top notch game, almost scoring at the very end - dumb offside rule! The referee definitely didn't take him seriously and never called any fouls on him! Whatever!

I want to say to all the people who were not Portugal supporters to begin with, please bring your good karma with you when Germany and Portugal play on Saturday or please - do not support Portugal!

How Can You Lose Something You Never Really Had?

2006-07-04T08:10:00.000-05:00

After the movie marathon I had this weekend, one question remains with me. One of my all time favorite movie is. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". I love the simplicity of the plot line. Despite the simple plot line, the whirlwind of emotions the characters go through complicates the situation. This is one movie that I listen to every word (sometimes recite it by heart) the characters say. The lines are short but powerful. As the long weekend comes to an end, I awake in the morning asking myself the same thing Kate Hudson asked, "How can you lose something you never really had?".

I don’t know what it is that I have lost, but I know the tightness in my heart means something. Could it be that I have lost the security of my old school and am now entering into the unknown? I don't know. I seem really confused right now.

When I asked myself this question in the morning, the answer was simple and logical. You can't lose something you never had because it was never yours to begin with. But after some retrospection, I think you can. You lose the memory of the thing, you lose the security of the thing... so many times in life we enter a situation knowing what we have entered into is not permanent, like a temp job, or going to school, or going a trip. Despite knowing it is a temporary state of being, when it ends, it is like a void has filled the air around us. Why does this happen? Why is there such a huge continuum between reality and emotions?

The Joys Of Loneliness

2006-07-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

When I walk into my home on Tuesday evening, my home is a mess. Clothes are strewed everywhere, the bed is unmade and food is left in the sink. Rather then tensing up as I would normally do, I smile. I know after I clean up that evening, it will remain clean for the next week - Asif is not in town. Ahh, the joys of loneliness!

After a quick dinner, I head for bed. I place my pillows strategically around the bed forming a little cocoon for me to lie in. My head touches the pillows and I fall asleep almost instantly. Ahh, the joys of loneliness.

I receive a few calls from well wishers. I can hear them clicking their tongues sympathetically over the phone. I politely field their condolences in a soft tone - "Haan (meaning 'yes' in Gujarati), Thank You, Yes, I will come to your house if I am scared". However the expression on my face does not match the sadness in my voice. After I put the phone away, I turn on the tele, watch a sappy chick flick, and munch on nachos, salsa and sour cream. Ahh, the joys of loneliness.

When the weekend arrives, I pack my bags and head to my moms. I am received with warm hugs, great food and wonderful company. Ahh, the joys of loneliness.

The weekend is full of peace. I bond with my mother and sister in law. We go out, watch movies, pamper ourselves, flirt with cute waiters (well, my mom is more of an observer) and we all giggle like high school kids. Ahh, the joys of loneliness.

These are just some of the joys of being alone. Loneliness doesn't have to equate unhappiness. It can equate rejuvenation - it is all in how you view your alone time. HAVE FUN! Make every moment a Kodak moment!

Oops, we did it again!!

2006-06-24T17:42:00.000-05:00

Cancer never sleeps and neither did we!

Friday June 23, 2006 marked the night 7 friends got together and attempted to fight the battle against cancer. This wonderful night that will stay in our hearts and bring HOPE into our lives for years to come was initiated and organized by the fabulous and sensational Shelina Adbulhusein. Thank you so much Shel!

Equipped with an air mattress, warm clothes, some lawn chairs and a beautiful sign ("FRIENDS FOR LIFE" - designed by my Grade 2 students), I left my house that Friday evening and made my way to Richmond Green Park with a wonderful teacher and friend - Sameena! I was filled with feelings of apprehension, nervousness and excitedness. As we struggled with our sleeping gear onto a makeshift camping ground, I began thinking about the night ahead. I wondered if I would be able to walk the whole night (esp. because all I had consumed that day was coffee). I wondered why I hadn't put more effort into fundraising. I wondered if I would fit into the FRIENDS FOR LIFE group.

Today is Saturday. The night is over. Our walk through the night is complete. Despite my aching feet, I still wear a smile on my face. Walking for the Cancer Relay For Life has been one of the best experiences of my life.

The best part of the night was the illumination ceremony. At this time, participants who had purchased a candle for someone they loved lit their candles in that person's memory or honor. Before the ceremony, the organizers recited a beautiful poem, followed by a bagpipe memorial service. Participants were then given a chance to light their candles. A hush of silence filled the air. People gathered - together, they prayed, cried, hugged and walked in silence. As we inhalled the emotions around us, we saw a little girl (I infer she is battling cancer). She was seated on her mothers shoulders. I watched the mother and daughter walk. Then the girl asked innocently, "Mom, when I die, will you light a candle for me?". Tears filled the mother's eyes and the eyes of everyone who heard the girl. I began to think about my life and about how ungrateful I sometimes am. As we walk through life, it is so hard to remember how blessed we are. This event definitely served as that reminder.

As far as my eyes could see, I saw little flames burning in white bags. On one of the hills, candles joined together to spell the word - HOPE. What a breathtaking sight that was.

The Relay For Cancer served so many purposes for me. It reminded me to appreciate my life, my good health and family. It taught me compassion for those suffering. It gave me a new source of strength - friends. In their own way, each touched my life. I learned courage and strength Fatima; I learned the value of laughter from Shel and Taseeb; I learned that physical injuries are not roadblocks (Thanks Suk); I learned the value of perseverance from Sameena and Shaista; Very importantly, I learned how to pitch a tent!

I watched the sun rise and I surrounded by people I care about. In that moment, I felt truly blessed, and truly happy.

Please recite a Surah Fatiha for all those that have departed from us.

IF

2006-06-19T17:10:00.000-05:00

Introduced to me by the wind - here is a poem that has inspired me!

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Intentional Double Standards

2006-06-16T17:42:00.000-05:00

"Good morning Ms. Fazal!”, I heard a cheerful voice call to me as I was leaving the school office with my class attendance. Smiling, I turned around to greet this kind teacher - a teacher who accepted me and challenged me at the same time. This is a teacher who I thought about on days such a "Hat Day", "School Spirit Day" or "Treat Day" because he faced similar challenges as me. Both he and I are practitioners of our faith and the symbols of our faith are visible to everyone around - he wears a kippa and I, a hijab.

Slowing my pace for him to catch up, we walked to my classroom chatting. Suddenly he stopped.

"Ms. Fazal, I have a question for you. I was hoping for some perspective".

I cringed. I always cringe when a teacher says he or she has a question. I know it will be an inquiry about Islam. In our school, we have many Muslim students, and I am honored to represent these students, stand up for their beliefs and help them take care of their faith. However, questions are always hard for me because a lot of the time, I don't know the answers or the answers are hard to explain because they may be directly linked to a hadith (saying of the Prophet Mohammed) or to an ayat (verse) of the Quran. The questioners have no schema about the intricacies of Islam, which makes it harder for them to understand and appreciate Islam.

In those few moments my whipped through possible questions he may have - Could he want my opinion on the attempted terrorist attacks? As I was thinking, I could hear him speak.

"Are you going to the water park?". I nodded.

"The kids must be so excited to go". I smiled in agreement. I just wanted him to tell me what he wanted to know.

"You know the music exempted kids," he started. (Yes, I knew them quite well. These are students who do not participate in music because of religious inclinations - in other words, the Muslim students)
"I was talking to them about going to the water park..."

I quickly clued in. He asked me why the girls were not going to the water park while the boys were over eagerly applying their sunscreen. I explained to him, the girls were wearing a head scarf to ensure and preserve their modestly. Running through a water park in a bathing suit wouldn't really be an option for them.

He explained to me a conversation he had had with the girls. The girls had explained to him the hijab (head scarf) was not just the covering of hair, it included covering their eyes from men/boys who were immodestly dressed. He then asked the girls why the boys could go to the water park and thereby expose their eyes to women/girls who were in little swim suits. In typical Muslim fashion, the girls replied, "It depends of their intention". Mashalla, I was so impressed with the answers these girls gave.

The maturity of these girls left me speechless. However, this teacher was more concerned with the act of going to such a place than the act of participating in the activities in the place. He wanted to know why it was ok for the men to go to an area where women would be immodestly dressed but women were not allowed to go to these places. I didn't know what to say. It was the double standard we have grown up with. The men are allowed to go clubbing, allowed to go to inappropriate areas of entertainment, however if a girl is seen having coffee at a Starbucks past eleven o'clock, it is scorned upon. I mean, women have been discouraged to watch soccer on moral grounds, but men watch the LPGA tours and tennis with gaping mouths.

The message of condemning an act based on the gender of the person committing the act sends a message that the Islamic laws are different for men and women. From my understanding of Islam, this is not the case. The men and women will face the same consequence for their actions. Allah will not participate in gender discrimination. So why should we? Society is putting men at a disadvantage by accepting their unlawful actions. Why don't we instill the same moral values in our boys as we do in our girls? Why do we laugh when a boy tries to pick up a girl and frown when a girl so much as checks a boy out?

Let us not be unfair to the boys. If an act is unlawful, it is simply unlawful regardless of gender. The eventual consequence is the same. By following double standards, we are hurting both the girls and the boys.

Brand Name Fever

2006-06-13T11:41:00.000-05:00

A month ago, the count down for the world cup began at my house. Asif, soccer/football fanatic, has been unable to sleep ever since he booked his tickets to Germany.

(Actually, I am quite excited about his trip as well - I can't wait for some alone time in the house. But that is another story for another blog).

Well, amidst the whirlwind of soccer mania, I feel the need to pick a team to support. My soccer vocab is limited to Beckam, Owen and Lampard. I have actually met Frank Lampard in Dubai in the winter of 2005 - he is quite the looker. But truth be told, I have no real measure of their talent except for what Asif or Minaz tells me.

After the pitiful performance of England in their match against Paraguay, I realized England is made up of a team of Name Brand Players. As we know, choosing a name brand is not always the best option. Take for example, Wonderbread. It is the most luxurious bread I have ever tasted. It smells like bread and is soft and fluffy. However it lacks in its nutrient quality. Despite the potential health hazards of Wonderbread, people continue to purchase this brand of bread simply because it's brand. I think England's team(among some other teams) can be categorized as Wonderbread. Great to look at, but lacking at the core!

After much contemplation, I chose Portugal as my team. First of all, how can I not support a country that have built a shrine of my namesake - Lady of Fatima. But more importantly, I know the cheer. Isn't cheering the most important job description of a fan?

When I looked in my fridge this morning, I saw the gleaming cover of Wonderbread hiding behind my no name bread. To make up for the brand name in my fridge, my loyalty to Portugal grew. As Asif drove me to school this morning, we sang the Portugal cheer!

Portugalale! Portugalale, Portugalale, Portugalale! PORTUGALALE!!

Deal or No Deal

2006-06-11T14:51:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it seems like I spend my life making decisions and forming alliances - with family, friends, employers, and coworkers. Sometimes I think the way the world operates has changed the way I communicate. I have fallen prey to a very self centered, self serving way of communication. Yesterday, I realized how severe my "You do this for me, and I do this for you" communication style had become.

As I was leaving the house to rent a movie, I glanced at the staircase. Seeing two brown envelops with government cheques enclosed within it had become a familar sight for me. When I glanced at the stairs, I was expecting to catch a glimpse of these envelops. However, my eyes met the dark brown hard wood floors. There were no envelops! There was no trace of my cheques on the stairs!

I began to panic. Putting my renting aside, I searched all over the house. Unsuccessful after ten minutes, I whispered what I thought to be a prayer - "God, if you help me find my cheques, I will recite one Ya Seen". I continued my frantic search. 40 minutes later with cheques in hand, I realized I had promised to recite 3 Ya Seens and pray one two rakaat namaaz.

As I began thinking about the events of the night, I am pretty sure my whispers to Allah were not prayers, but what I had been doing was striking deals with God. I began to feel like I had been in private episode of "Deal or No Deal". The sad part about this is I know Allah has nothing to gain from my reciting Ya Seens. The only gain in this deal is mine. Yet as I sit to recite my prayers, I am filled with "aaras".

I hope this will be my final "Deal or No Deal" episode. Prayers to Allah should be done with joy and to praise, not to serve my selfish needs.

That will be $29.99

2006-06-10T09:22:00.001-05:00

It has been suggested by my brother in law - Anis, that women should charge men for services rendered within the household. This suggestion brings with it two problems.

The first is that of the price list. What is the going rate for washing dishes, mopping, sweeping? This is what my price list might look like.

To: Asif

Re: Household Chores

As of July 2006, please note services provided within the house will have to be compensated for. The prices quoted are for daily services provided. Please provide your wife with a work log so she may document her daily services. Payment must be made on a bi-weekly basis.

Services Price
Mopping 45
Sweeping 30
Laundry (Wash and Fold) 50 - 80 (depending on load size)
Dishes 70 - 80
Cooking 110 (this is for the service - grocery needs to be
provided. Cost may increase on weekends and during peak entertainment times)
Making the bed 20
Bathroom 100
Dusting 100

Please be advised that the prices are subject to change and services not listed may have a charge.

Is this what my price list should look like?

The second and the more important problem with this suggestion is while it is my right to charge for my service, asserting my right would change the dynamics of my relationship. We would move from a loving, kind and almost happy relationship to a marriage punctuated with dollars and cents. What a waste!

The point of my complaint was not the money. Women strive to be self sufficent. The extra dollar won't change the way we feel - it will only aggravate the situation. When my husband does not pick up after HIMSELF, it disrespects me. Our house is a reflection of our relationship. When our home is unkempt, it tells me the he doesn't care about our relationship and he doesn't care about how our relationship is reflected to others! In my books, that is disrespect.

There are somethings money can't buy (our integrity)! For everything else, there is MASTERCARD!

WIFE - Wash - Iron - Fold - Eh?

2006-06-09T20:56:00.000-05:00

I have been noticing a trend in the conversations I have been partaking in.

Married men all seem to have the opinion the marriage has ended their freedom filled lives - RIGHT! They believe marriage has tied them down, has given them added responsibilities, and added worries. And let us not forget - constant nagging!

Married women on the other hand seem to be of the opinion that marriage has transformed their lives from a woman of leisure, style and class to woman of bleach, clorox and olive oil.

So I began thinking - something I try not to do too often. When I was engaged (ahhh... Memories of that peaceful time in my life), my then fiance, now husband, said to me, "The word, WIFE, stands for Wash, Iron, Fold and Entertain". At the time, I thought it was funniest thing I had ever heard. I bragged to my friends about my humorous husband and shared how lucky I was, to be entering into a marriage that would be filled with laughter.

Four years later, I think the joke's on me! Yes, our life is filled with giggles, chuckles and sometimes roaring laughter - but the laughter ends quickly when it comes to housework. I am the living definition of a wife - I wash, iron, fold, entertain. I cook, clean, smile and try not to nag. I, along with thousands of women, live a WIFE life believing it is the only reality we can have.

Please do not misunderstand me - I enjoy serving my family. What infuriates me is when I hear men chat about their wives and discuss how marriage changed their lives (for the worse). My question is, what changes have they made? Is it that now after marriage, they smell good, look nice, eat well, and have a well organized house? Oh my, am I expected to sympathize for these men? Am I supposed to think it is funny when a man jokes that he doesn't need a dishwasher because he has a wife? I don't think so.

I want to challenge this definition of a wife. Our lives do not have to revolve around mundane household chores. We do not need to tender our happiness to a single supplier - our husbands. Women, let us build our own identities. Let us be strong and beautiful. We will only begin to derive respect if we respect ourselves!

The next time a man tell you, "Wash, Iron, Fold, Entertain" - challenge him with "Wash - Iron - Fold -Eh?"

High 24/7

2006-06-07T20:00:00.000-05:00

Family, friends and ex- friends are just a few clicks away with the advent of Hi5.

The blissful life I led without Hi5 came to an end yesterday. I used to believe once you lost connections with old friends, they could no longer be a part of your life. My belief was my security! I enjoyed not knowing whether a friendship could be salvaged and not knowing the successes and joys of friends who had hurt me. Simply put, I enjoyed not knowing. It gave me a sense of power over my life and a certain kind of contentment.

Hi5 changed all that with just a few clicks. As I browsed through address books of random people, I was struck by the new, cool way of voyeurism. Not only can you look at the pictures and comments of the people in your address book, but you have access to a plethora of address books and pictures.

Hi5 does come with its advantages. It’s a great way of seeing the three degrees of separation between yourself, the people you know and the people they know.

While Hi5 is the thrilling new way to communicate, keep yourself safe. Be cautious of who you let into your address book, the pictures you post and the information you give. Beware of the time spend you spend browsing - remember to allocate time to living your life. Watching others live theirs is a poor compromise!

Injury Sustained!

2006-05-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

I have always avoided sports especially contact and team sports, but for some reason, I felt the need to try a new sport (watching tele was getting a little old). So I joined soccer. Every Friday, a few girls meet in a small primary school gym and we run and kick (a lot of times – we are kicking each other or the air) in desperate attempts to make contact with the ball.

What I have realized is the hardest position to play is definitely midfield. When I was playing defense, it was great. By the time the players get to me, they had lost momentum. Blocking the ball was not too hard as I Stood right in front of the player and kicked. In one swift move, my job was done. Playing forward was a little harder, but this time rather than blocking, I kicked the ball in the general area of the net and hoped someone from the middle would come and lead the ball in the right direction.

Well, with 15 minutes to go, I began to play midfield. First of all, I did not realize that you have to stand in the middle of the gym. Being in the middle, center of everyone’s attention, is hard to deal with. This is the position that showed everyone my lack of talent, skill and / or coordination. I didn’t know whether to move forward or go back! I still cannot understand the job description of a midfielder!

Then it dawned on me! I am the person that moves the ball from a general direction to a specific direction – the net! I could feel the pressure rise. I felt determined to do something. All of a sudden, I see my leg stretching towards the ball and I kick as hard as I can. Rather than hearing the gratifying “thump” of the ball, I felt pain.

As I limped into my car, I realized I had sustained my first soccer injury. At this time, I am feeling mixed emotions. I definitely am in pain but at the same time, I feel proud because I didn’t back down from the ball. Despite my feelings of empowerment, I think I will stick to defense.

2006-04-30T22:22:00.000-05:00

A teacher, a writer, a dreamer, a believer... This is an introduction of me!